I wonder how many times I would open the bottom drawer and pull out her purse…. a one year old baby candle, make up, some tickets, pens, baby powder spilled all throughout. I had bought it for her a couple of Christmases earlier. Shiny black big purse. The last time I saw her she wanted to trade purses. I was using one her sister and I had both used. We were already out to the car and we forgot to trade so we said next time. Yes, we would do it next time. So I take the purse out…again… and I cry. Looking at the contents, thinking of all that they say about her last days. Then I put it back. It’s too much! I wondered how long it would hurt. Last year I finally did it. Everything out. I was able to keep what I would keep and toss the rest. I carefully washed it out, layed it back in the drawer. I wasn’t able to use it, at least not yet but I know my heart is healing, slowly healing.